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 Jimmy "Catfish" Adams recently contacted The Draft Review to go public with his intention to petition the court for entrance into the NBA. He cites unfair NBA rules and the need for equal employment opportunity among athletes. Catfish (pictured left studying the moves of Tony Parker during the 2007 NBA finals) is calling for athletic affirmative action, a term he coined defining the right of sub-par athletes to join the ranks of professional sports teams. Catfish, with the assistance of his 3rd cousin, Patty Sue Adams (who is taking a home study paralegal course), were unsuccessful in obtaining a meeting with David Stern to discuss the issues.
"I'm darn mad about this", stated Catfish. "Ever since I started watching the NBA game last year, I've been working real hard to go pro. Right now, I can run a 25 minute 1/2 mile, and I was benching 110 pounds until those crooks stole the weight set from off my front lawn. But that's no matter, 'cause I'm getting in shape anyhow and down to one pack of cigarettes a day. I just got my ball handling and agility training DVDs in the mail. I won't be denied, Mr. Stern!"
Catfish began his crusade against the NBA after traveling to their league office in New York City to fill out an application for the Power Forward position.
"Playin' for the NBA is a job, ain't it? People fill out applications for jobs, don't they? But that receptionist lady told me they don't take no applications, told me I was ineligible....or inadequate. Heck, I can't remember which, but I'm banned from the NBA and there's nothing American about that. "
Catfish feels his case against the NBA is strong. He asserts that physically fit, highly skilled athletes is a discriminatory requirement perpetuated by professional sports leagues. The Draft Review will follow this case as it heads to court.
Part Two: What's up with Catfish?
This article and its characters are not real. They are fictitious and satirical, intended for entertainment purposes.
Photo: BigStockPhoto.com: digitalphotoart
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